Sandie, 76, moved to Thamesmead with her husband in 1974, and has been in the same house ever since. “I can’t complain,” she laughs. “We’ve got everything here, shops, the library, the lake. When my kids were little, we’d walk to the paddling pool near the school, stop at the shop for sweets… everyone looked after each other’s children. It’s a nice little place.”
Life has brought its share of challenges for Sandie: serious illness in the family, bereavements, and caring responsibilities. “I was quite lonely at times,” she says. “Things got very hard and I went to the doctor for advice.” That was four years ago and things changed when she met John through the Compassionate Neighbours scheme.
“Irene from the programme came round for a chat and said she’d look for a match. Within a week, John was at my door and it was the best thing that happened. He’s my best friend. He doesn’t judge, he’s so kind and caring. How lucky am I to have someone like that?” Every Thursday morning, the pair meet for breakfast, sometimes avocado on toast, sometimes egg and chips, at one of two favourite Thamesmead cafés. “We have a laugh down there,” says Sandie. “I never wanted to be old and shocked and not be able to swear or talk about things. You’ve got to have a laugh.”
Sandie"John was at my door and it was the best thing that happened. He’s my best friend. He doesn’t judge, he’s so kind and caring. How lucky am I to have someone like that?”
John, who first saw a Compassionate Neighbours poster on Plumstead Common after his dad died eight years ago, says volunteering has been just as meaningful for him. “When you say volunteering, people think it’s work. But it’s just an introduction, and a friendship blossoms. Sandie’s been a big support for me too, especially when I lost my mum earlier this year. It’s a two-way thing.
For John, Thamesmead has become part of the story. “I often run around the lake; they’ve put a lot of effort in improving the area. It’s lovely, and the community’s there. We’re known in the cafés now too.” T he friendship extends beyond breakfast. John has taken Sandie to hospital appointments, and Sandie has joined him for shows out. John gets on well with Sandie’s family too. “There’s so much humour in our friendship,” says John. “We just clicked. She’s a force of nature.” But for John, there’s also a bigger message.
“There’s a lot of people in society who are struggling. We’re out of touch with a part of life we all face, death, and we tend to sweep it under the carpet. The hospice and Compassionate Neighbours help bring that part of life into the light. Attitudes towards death need to change, and compassion plays a big part in that.” Both agree the scheme is about more than visits. “You don’t know what people are going through,” John reflects. “We can all be compassionate to anybody — and if you can be compassionate to others, you can be compassionate to yourself too. That’s important.” “There needs to be more John’s in the world.” Sandie says. We certainly agree!
John, Compassionate Neighbour“You don’t know what people are going through. We can all be compassionate to anybody and if you can be compassionate to others, you can be compassionate to yourself too. That’s important.”
